Tantrums

Tantrum

Tantrums Are Not Bad Behavior

Tantrums can be one of the most difficult parts of early childhood. It can feel disruptive, embarrassing, exhausting, and sometimes even personal. Especially when they happen in public or at the end of a long day.

What's important to remember in the moment is that the tantrum is not a sign of "bad behavior" or "manipulation" or even "acting out". Your child is trying to communicate that they are feeling overwhelmed in the only way they know how or are able to do so in that moment.

What a Tantrum Really Is

As much as we want to believe that a tantrum is a planned reaction, I promise you, it is not a strategy. Your child is demonstrating a stress response.

When young children experience emotions or sensations they don't yet know how to manage, their bodies take over. Crying, yelling, collapsing, or even hitting can all be signs that a child's nervous system is overloaded.

In these moment, children are not choosing their behavior, they are reacting to overwhelming inner emotions.

Why Tantrums Seem to Come Out of Nowhere

Tantrums often happen when a child is:

  • Tired
  • Hungry
  • Overstimulated
  • Transitioning too quickly
  • Unable to express what they need

As grown-ups, at any given time, we are managing a million things, and so what looks like a sudden reaction to us, is usually the result of several small stressors adding up. Children don't yet have the skills to say, "I'm overwhelmed and need help regulating my body. So instead, they show us.

What Tantrums Are Not

Tantrums are not:

  • A failure of parenting
  • A sign of disrespect
  • Proof that boundaries aren't working

Tantrums are a part of child development and learning how to handle big feelings takes time, repetition and support.

What Helps During a Tantrum

During a tantrum, the goal is not to teach a lesson.

The goal is to provide your child with safety and regulation.

Helpful responses often include:

  • Staying physically close
  • Using fewer words
  • Keeping your voice steady
  • Holding boundaries calmly

This might feel like "doing nothing", but you are helping your child's body return to balance.

What to do After the Tantrum Ends

Once your child's nervous system has found balance and they are feeling calm, you can then focus the attention on providing a learning experience.

This is the moment when you can:

  • Name what happened ("That was really difficult.")
  • Identify feelings together
  • Practice a different response through play or imagination

Over time, these conversations build skills your child will eventually use on their own.

A Small Shift that Makes a Big Difference

Instead of asking yourself "How do I stop the tantrums?"

Try asking "What is my child having a hard time with?"

This shift changes how you respond and how your child feels in those moments.

How Infinite Little Minds fits into this

The cards are designed to build emotional understanding before hard moments happen.

They help children:

  • recognize feelings
  • Name body sensations
  • Practice responses in a calm, playful way

So, when emotions rise, the experience feels familiar and not tightening.

One Last Thing to Remember

Tantrums don't mean you're going something wrong.

They mean your child is still learning.

And when you stay present through those moments, you're teaching something far more important than behavior, you're teaching safety.

Tiny Minds Downloads

A gentle guide you can save for later.

Big Feelings

Support for when emotions feel bigger than words.

  • What to remember when emotions rise
  • What helps most in the moment
  • What can wait until everyone feels calmer
 Save for Later

References

American Academy of Pediatrics — Top Tips for Surviving Tantrums
A practical parent-focused guide on why tantrums are normal, common triggers, and helpful responses during tantrums.

https://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/family-dynamics/communication-discipline/Pages/Temper-Tantrums.aspxHealthyChildren.org

Stanford Children's Health — Temper Tantrums
A trusted children's health resource explaining what tantrums look like, how to respond calmly, and when to talk with your child's doctor.

https://www.stanfordchildrens.org/en/topic/default?id=temper-tantrums-90-P02295stanfordchildrens.org